Have you ever heard the story of someone who was living someone else’s life and wondered what? Have you ever questioned who you are because someone else did and you quite didn’t know why? And have you ever seen someone and thought that is my life they are living?

Well let me tell you a story. A story of a damned lesbian who could not control her emotions! Several weeks ago I went to the theatre to watch a 3D movie with my son, his girlfriend and some family. I went in expecting to be entertained by this great 3D adventure and for that matter I was. I sat through the movie thoroughly please with our seats and enjoyed the movie. When it was over we waited for the crowd to die down and then got up and proceeded to leave. As I was walking out into the lobby of the theatre I reached for my pocket to pull out my cell phone and proceeded to check my text messages. As I was reading I glanced up to make sure I was going in the right direction. When I noticed the most amazing woman standing alone about 20 steps in front of me... It was as if I had hit the wall! As I looked at her and began scanning her face our eyes locked. I knew I was in trouble; we were both drawn to each other instantaneously. As I got closer to her it was as if I was being pulled by some magnetic force unable to turn away. With every step I took her beauty consumed me. I absorbed everything my eyes could grasps, her beautiful blue eyes which sparkled thru her wired round (Benjamin Franklin style) eyeglasses, just exuding intelligence. How here hair lay partly on her shoulders and tucked behind her ears, her perfectly formed fingers. The way she so fashionably wore her grey driver hat (golf hat) backwards. The grey vest she so beautifully wore over a perfectly white shirt. Oh my what a sight!  The way her slender figure stood tall and confident with anticipation as if she knew I was coming. Our eyes never broke away, forever locked. I swear my heart stopped! My hands began to shake as the space between us narrowed and when I finally stood right next to her all I could do was walk by. Every inch of my body was crying STOP!! Yet I didn’t. As I walked away from her I glanced back and it felt as if the air had been sucked out of this massive hallway. The pain of leaving her behind was excruciating! I knew that moment that my life was forever changed by this uncontrollable desire. The feelings that I have been trying to stop finally overwhelmed me, broke free and took my heart with it. All I could do was glance at her and walk away without knowing what could have been. You see I couldn’t allow my son and family to see that I was attracted to another woman. That every inch of my body and soul desired her! I couldn’t allow my heart to lead my mind, because if it did everyone would know. As I began to turn my head forward I noticed that she too had girlfriends with her, yet it’s as if they understood what had just been lost.  I really don’t know why I am writing this story, maybe it’s prevent another from making the same mistake or maybe its just because I am being selfish and trying to relive it in hopes of recapturing those lost moments again.  No matter what my reasoning one thing is for sure, I now know that something this big can never be stopped or the loss will be great and the price heavy! The heart wants what it wants, it won’t be denied, not even by the mind!!

 

Sincerely,

One lost